A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Two horses are playing in a field, One says to the other "Hey, sup" they then continue playing.

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Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: Cause he felt like it.

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What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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Hitler: A jew walked into a bar... jokes, it was a gas chamber

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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A bear eats some honey. I'm not really sure why and I've never seen a bear eat honey in real life so I don't really know if the bear actually ate any.

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There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

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Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

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your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

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What's black and can't swim? A black shirt.

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Q:the is a mexican and a black guy in the car who id driving? A:the cop

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Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

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What happens when you give a guinea pig a cherry? He turns into satan.

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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Why was New Zealand attacked by Australia? New Zealand attacked Australia due to a teritorial dispute. The war lasted for 3 years with over 150000 deaths.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Max. Max who? Max who starts his greeting with,  "In accordance with Megan's law"  

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? Because he had no arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Johnny was a potato.

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Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

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Ask me If I am an orange? Are you and Orange? No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops