Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

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I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

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roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

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"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

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What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

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A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because its rayseans favorite number

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What did the 12 year old boy get for Christmas? Herpes

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what do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question ................

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I am thinking of a number between 1 and 100 what is it There are many numbers between 1 and 100 so it is highly unlikely that I will guess the right number

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This is an antijoke It doesn't have to rhyme.

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Why was the camel sad he wasnt, camels dont have feelings

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A hindu and a muslim walk into a bar. They start arguing over their different fundamental religious beliefs and then considering it is an american bar, an american christian extremist quickly shoots them both for being " from that part of the world"

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Why was the man so fat? Because he is in a wheel chair and can't exercise.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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What did the fat kid get for chirstmas? diabetes

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Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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