Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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How many cans does the average alcoholic drink in one night? None. Cans are solid and therefore cannot be drank.

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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What do a Fascist and a Democrat both have in common? Involvement in politics.

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Roses are red, violetsvare blue, I have aids, so do you

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What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

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How many fish fingers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five.

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What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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Q. What is the answer to life the universe and everything A. 42

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Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

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A woman was at a family reunion and her husband's mother walked in. She has a chocolate allergy so the woman says the her husband,"I need more chocolate!"

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2 boys are going to get candy from the store. What happened? A robbery and they were killed

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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I rode in to town on an ass... ur momas ass!!

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Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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A man walks into a bar The bartender asks: What would you like to drink?

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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If Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee got in a fight, who would win? Chuck Norris, since Bruce Lee is dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a bottle of Faygo on the other side.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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