Why aren't dragons real? Because if any animal were to breath fire (let alone have a gland that produced it), they would cease to live for their necks would scorch from the inside out.

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Why was the blonde staring at the bottle of orange juice? She was reading the nutrition facts, as she was trying to watch her weight.

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Whats worse than being a jew? Having all of your friends viciously murdered at a party that you weren't invited to.

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I'm rick james bitch

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How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

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how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

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wanna know the biggest joke on antijoke.com? People's spelling.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Yo mama is so fat she needs to wear extra large.

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

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What did the transvestite say to the hypochondriac? "Ever been to Toledo?"

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ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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guess what the clown said to the kid... im a clown

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

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Turkeys are obese

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why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

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how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

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Why did the Mexican go to Taco Bell? Because he thought it was a real restaurant.

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Duke Nukem censored line: What are you waiting for? the celebration of the day you crucified Jesus and ate his flesh and blamed it upon the anti christ because of... Victory? Because you know Jesus gave his life in order to prove that he was immortal and died for your sins because his life is eternal... Satan your Moral Man: Nah, lets just go with "what are you waiting for, christmas?" Now go celebrate you murdering your savior which said "ill be back" on the cross and returned three days later at his second coming? Seriously? I thought only Jesus: The guy that was totally an ARAB (deny it and be consumed in the flames of hell, not my problem), and Jesus: strikes back came out, where can I get Jesus: The third coming? Factoid: Yeah Jesus was totally a blonde haired white man which went clothed in the finest ARYAN silks, in addition he only drove in his MUSTANG 9001 and smoked Lucky Strike... Which did nothing for his luck...

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Q: why did the plain crash A: the driver is a loaf of bread

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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