A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

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My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Jesse gives his mom the stick for breakfast

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Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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I was walking down a railway line the other day... I was fined £1000

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So a woman walks out of a kitchen, she is instantly mauled by a bear.

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

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There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a convicted rapist.

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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whats bad about being black and jewish they have to sit in the back of the oven

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Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

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Why do black guys always have sex on their mind? Because they are men.

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Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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Why was Chris crying? There was a robbery at his house and both of his parents were brutally murdered.

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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What do you call someone who thinks they're funny but in reality isn't? Adam chapali Knock knock Who's there? NOT adam chapali

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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