Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon

How do you take a shit?, by taking it to go.

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

What is wrong with being a black Jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

69

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

Obama lin Baden.

Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

What do you call an attractive woman in a blender? A very rare occurrence.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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