Duke Nukem censored line: What are you waiting for? the celebration of the day you crucified Jesus and ate his flesh and blamed it upon the anti christ because of... Victory? Because you know Jesus gave his life in order to prove that he was immortal and died for your sins because his life is eternal... Satan your Moral Man: Nah, lets just go with "what are you waiting for, christmas?" Now go celebrate you murdering your savior which said "ill be back" on the cross and returned three days later at his second coming? Seriously? I thought only Jesus: The guy that was totally an ARAB (deny it and be consumed in the flames of hell, not my problem), and Jesus: strikes back came out, where can I get Jesus: The third coming? Factoid: Yeah Jesus was totally a blonde haired white man which went clothed in the finest ARYAN silks, in addition he only drove in his MUSTANG 9001 and smoked Lucky Strike... Which did nothing for his luck...

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

Q. What do you call a retarted guy? A. Whatever his name happens to be

What did the caveman say to the dinosaurs, nothing dinosaurs are from the Triassic period 25 million years ago, while the origin of man came around 230000 years ago, so there would be a massive time difference and and would never seen each other.

What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

woman's rights

What's the difference between Batman and a black guy? One is a guy that dresses up like a bat and fights crime and the other is just a mild-mannered person.

roses are gray, violets are gray, Im a dog

David Cameron

Ask me if I'm God.. Dude, we all know you're not God.

your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

Why was little Alice and her family at the graveyard? Well someone had to come at her funeral...

What did the Woman say to the man after he walked into the pole? That was a pole you idiot

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

Knock Knock No solicitors

What's hanging by a rope from the tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

Your momma's so fat she has diabetes and my have to get one of her legs amputated. It's actually quite sad.

Knock-knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

There was a black person running down my street. He was celebrating because he just graduated from Harvard University.

A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

In Soviet Russia, Joseph Stalin killed a lot of people and there was nothing funny about it.

The tall man says; How's theweather downn there? he's talking to smurf

What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

A young man walks into a bar. A complicated chain of events leads to him marrying the owner's second cousin's half-niece-in-law.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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