What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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Why didn't the tv turn on? It wasn't plugged in

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

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roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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Your momma so stupid, she dropped out of school at a young age of 12.

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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Yo mama so fat, that she's even bigger than the universe!

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

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so a unicorn walks into a bar... and then i woke up

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What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

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Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

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WHO'S YO DADDY? the man who's semen combined with your mother's egg to create a child.

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Yo mamma is SO fat, she is classified as fat.

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What is older than history?

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black chicken. kfc

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

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What do you call a black salesman? A salesman, you racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops