Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

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the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

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What Happens when you kill a dragon? Nothing, there not real.

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Guy: guess what girl: what Guy: nevermind girl: no what Guy: i love you girl:.. i love myself too..

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why was the kid sitting in a wooden chair? Because at the early age of four he was diagnosed with cancer and genital warts!

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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How did Hitler make the world a better place? He died.

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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Q: What is white, and comes out of a woman? A: No, milk you perve

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What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

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whaT DID HEVEN SAY TO THE FRIDGE hAVE YOU GOT A COLD

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Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

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What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops