Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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Osama bin Laden walks into a bar. Just joking, he's dead.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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Why was the little boy sad Because he has depression from his father beating him over and over every time he comes home from school...

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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What's one plus one? two.

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How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. It is a coincidence that none of them have the same hair colour.

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Knock knock! Who's there? IT DOESN'T MATTER, YOU'RE NOT COMING TO MY HOUSE!!!! *closes door*

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A guy comes home from work every day to his wife, who always seems miserable. He decides that her unhappiness is making him unhappy aswell, so he sits her down to talk things over. It turns out she is depressed because she can't get a job and the back wheels of her wheelchair are rusting.

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your mom gave me head.....phones

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I read the terms of service.

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

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What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

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A black man a mexican and a caucasian were walking together. The black man and the mexican walked into a bar. The caucasian ducked. Not because his race makes him smarter in anyway, but because his friends shouted out a warning to him. All three then proceeded to the nearest pub.

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What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he had legs.

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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Roses are red. They also have thorns. Their family is Rosaceae and they are often given as gifts between lovers. They grow in well drained and fertile soils...

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how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops