What do you do when your girlfriend is bleeding? She is probably on her period.

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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Teacher- What comes after 69 Boy- Mouthwash?? Teacher- LEAVE!

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the top 6 dictators who have died this year Moammar Gadhafi Kim Jong IL Osama bin ladden Saddam Husein Steve jobs Internet Explorer

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

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Sugar is sweet. Plums are too. Prison rape isn't funny either.

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A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of.

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What is orange, has 7 legs, and makes the same noise as a crow? If you can think of something that fits all of those characteristics, you need help

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven was a registered sex offender.

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Today i decided to burn calories, so I grabbed my lighter from the counter and put it in my pocket and proceeded to the treadmill.

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Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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What do Whitney Houston and MTV have in common? They both REALLY died in the 90's.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

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What did the girl say in her French lesson? Miss, I don't get it, its in a different language.

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why didnt Tim Tebow go to church? He had practice half an hour before the service was scheduled to start, and to do both was impossible and missing practice would have resulted in disciplinary action from both his coaches and his teammates.

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What's black and can't swim? A black shirt.

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-four year olds? There's 20 of them.

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Romeo and Juliet both die at the end of the book. HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHA i just screwed you guys over.

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what the deference between a priest and acne well the acne doesn't come on the kids face tell hes thirteen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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