Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by a car. I lied about him crossing the road.

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2 squirrels with 2 massive boners and 1 little boner.

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whats the meaning of stonehenge? ask the ones that built it!

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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What did the farmer say when he found his tractor? "There's my tractor."

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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How did the marines cross the minefield safely at night? Under a full moon

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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One day I walked into my backyard I saw a squirrel Then I was like oh hey squirrel

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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why did the boy scream? because he got shot.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Q: What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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What do you call a bunch of Cubans on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico? A guy who just so happens to own a boat and is on a fishing trip with his buddies. -Mitch Hastings

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What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

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Bill had two options the red truck or the blue sedan. Your mother is a whore.

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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Suzie has no arms. Knock Knock (whos there?) Not Suzie.

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

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Why cant the guy drink his beer Because he hasnt opened it yet

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What do you get when you mix a dog and a fish? A hot fillet.

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How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops