What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope, expectation and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going to venture into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there that Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down in the family's precious leather chair, looked her in the eye and whispered a sweet farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible, so now he is armed with the fact that his father is there for him, to help him further his adventure. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He grabbed his stash of Cool Original Doritos, took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena, got his Grandfather's lucky medallion and his inhaler and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, used the straw to puncture a hole through which to drink, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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A hispanic priest with a huge boner walks into a bar.

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

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Q: Why did the Honey Badger cross the road? A: Honey Badger don't care!!!

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Why did your ears get blasted with sound? You never turned the volume down..

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

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What did the white male say to the black male who had just robbed a bank? I'm glad you have a reliable source of income to feed yourself and your family

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why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

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10 kids are on a bus. It's just a normal bus, it takes the kids to school and lets them off.

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I have a friend named Jay . But for short , he likes to be called J .

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck says "Got any grapes?"

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What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

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How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, the enslavement of blacks over hundreds of years.

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How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

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What do you get if you throw a banana at the wall? Nothing.

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Why is the country in a national deficit? Because the Illuminati want to control all human beings in a socialist new world order.

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ive been a naughty girl, and i need something to plug my hole. call or text me;) 1 (802) 299-5281

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You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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