What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Nothing because he got knocked out because he was running too fast and hit his head.

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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why was allison crying? because her mom's dead.

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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what do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question ................

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. That's what she said

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilate was a loaf of bread.

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What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

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Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asks the bartender. "I'm a horse, it's genetic." replied the horse, confused at the bartender's infantile understanding of evolution and other species.

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What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life" life sentence: a prison term lasting as long as the prisoner lives; "he got life for killing the guard"

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a horse walks into an abandoned lighthouse , the lighthouse keeper is angered by this and ushers the horse to leave but the horse gets startled and kicks the mans bookshelf over before galloping away

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What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Presents

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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