Q; what did the gangster say after he and his gang robbed a bank? A;Hey boys lets go drink some soy milk (After that his gang killed him) but the moral of the story is to not rob banks or take drugs

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Who loves George Clooney? George Clooney

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What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

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Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

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What do you call a blonde who passed the SAT's? An excellent student.

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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A man walks into a bar He says "ow" and promptly sits down and ices the bruise he sustained

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What is Wonder Woman's drug of choice? Heroine.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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id give my right arm to be ambidextrous

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What's the difference between a black person and a park bench? Benches are inanimate objects while people are indeed carbon-based life forms.

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Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

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Hello

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Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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If chuck Norris is so awesome how come he's not at my house slamming my face into the keybodhdtegdudgegdtdjaowpqhwvsmx vxbdnsksksh

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What looks like a lion, sounds like a lion, and feels like a lion? A lion Ba dum chh

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What do you get when you cross Jesus with James Woods? Crucifixion

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How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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