Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

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What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

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What is a bull like in a China Shop? Calm, because generally any bull you would find in a China shop is probably made out of porcelain.

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Why is Joe is ugly? I dont Know

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What's the difference between a 1980 mustang and a pile of dead babies? I don't have the mustang in my garage.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, So what is the colour violet for?

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What did Hellen Keller say to her baby cousin? Nothing

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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a very large and muscly guy walks into a bar and finds a scrawny white guy he asks him if he has ever been in a fight with someone bigger then him the man says no the large man then leaves the bar and they both continue on with their day

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Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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Q.Whats the difference between a black guy and a bench? A.One is a human and the other is an inanimate object used to give people a rest.

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Is it hungry in here? Or is it just me?

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Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.-South Park

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Why do women go to the bathroom together? To clean their filthy pussies.

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whats white jizz

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What happens when you throw a yellow rock into a purple river? it makes a splash

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old spice body spay is so powerfull it can block BO for 16 hours. its so powerfull it can turn of the sun, but then it gets to cold, so it makes another sun........DOUBLE SUN POWWWWWEEEERRRRRRR!!!

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Q how do you feel? A with a series of nerve endings, that send signals to my brain

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a brunet,a redhead,and a blone were stranded on an island 4 miles away from land. the brunet swam 1 mile and drowned. the redhead swam 2 and drowned. the blond swam 3 miles and decided to swim 3 miles back to the island

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We spent trillions of tax payer's money on the death of 1 man... wait that's not funny...

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What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

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Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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