Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

Nothing is as strong as love, Except a nuclear warhead that can destroy entire cities! :P thoko like :D ~~k0mradey``

What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

How many Jews foes it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1...like... I'm confused that you... I mean screwing in a lightbulb isn't that hard.

One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

A blonde keeps walking down her driveway to her mailbox.Finally, her neighbor asks, "Why?" The blonde replies, "The computer says I've got mail."

Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

What's worse than the Holocaust? A Holocaust survivor. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

So a baby seal walks into a club.

roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

Yo' Mama's so old that her age is over the average age of most people.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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