(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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