Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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If chuck Norris is so awesome how come he's not at my house slamming my face into the keybodhdtegdudgegdtdjaowpqhwvsmx vxbdnsksksh

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Q. What's white, has an orange bill, and looks like a swan? A. a swan

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Not your cheese.

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Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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Hello

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

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How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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Why was the boy sad? Because He had a frog stapled to his face

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

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why did the students in 7/8 red try to commit suicide? they had miss harding as a teacher!

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Q: Why was the man eating his foot? A: Because he was a part of the circus.

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How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking

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two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

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A man, a dog and a pregnant woman walked into a bar, the man bought a beer, the dog was put back outside as the pub didn't allow animals and the pregnant woman didn't buy anything alcoholic as she didn't want to risk the life of her unborn child-she had a soda.

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What did one apple say to the other???? Well, since they are fruits, and not people, they were unable to talk...

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How do you get a black man out of his house? you ring the doorbell.

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Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

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what did i do after u pinched me? i killed everyone

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There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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