What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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Why did I the granda fall out of her wheel chair?. She fell down the steps

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

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Why was the dog fallowing the fat guy. The fat guy said come.

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A jew was walking down the street what did he see? the holocaust

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

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What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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Ms Leong Sux

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

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what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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