What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t get to cross the road. Halfway through the crossing, it was hit by a car and turned into roadkill. Then a family of black people picked it up and turned it into fried chicken.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

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What's more fun then spinning a dead baby around on a clothesline at 50 miles an hour? Stopping it with a shovel.

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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I hate weddings! Old people always poke u and say "ur next" so I've decided to do the same to them... At Funerals

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Why did I the granda fall out of her wheel chair?. She fell down the steps

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Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

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John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What has 4 legs and doesn't move? A child born in Chernobyl.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

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roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

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what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

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Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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