A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

why wasnt nathan invited the party? nathan's been dead for 5 years

Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

Why was the little girl crying? She got raped by a giant scorpion.

Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

whats small and blue? a suffocated baby

You: Want to hear a joke? Person: Yeah You: Me too

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...