what is the coolest thing in the world? hashtag swagbag yolo

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What do you get if you cross a human and a cow? Arrested.

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Why couldn't Jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. Come out with your hands up!

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what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

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Can anyone Lenin money?

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why did Sarah fall of the swing... she had no arms Knock Knock.... Whos there .... Not Sarah

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Hi. He said it in sign language.

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree, because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree, becuase it was dead. why did the third monkey fall out of the tree, because he thought it was a game!

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How do you give a cold sore to catnip? Because he needed lemon juice

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A strange man knocks at the door He's your son

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had Alzheimers and forgot that he lived on the other side of the street.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

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A penis walks into a bar..

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Yo mommas so fat We are terribly concerned about her health

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What do you do when the Cubs win the world series? Turn the xbox off and go to bed.

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Why didn't Megan do her homework? Although Megan was an intelligent girl who had always done well academically, she remained unconvinced that anything taught in school held practical or philosophical importance.

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What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What did the asshole say to his friend behind him? Fart

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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What do you call a 2 storied house ?

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i did a 360 noscope, then i jizzed. from dylan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops