Why didnt the poor black man have cell phone service? Because seven eight nine.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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What's green and gets you high? Marijuana.

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shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay

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A mother with a bum hip and her son go to walk up a set of stairs in the mall. The floor was slippery because the janitor just mopped the floor. They decide to take the elevator instead.

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

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What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

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How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

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Yo mama is so fat because she doesn't exercise and eats way too much calories. The reason fat people gain weight is because of low metabolism which means her body is not burning a lot of fat and instead is storing fat. A healthy life style such as playing sports, walking in a park, or eating healthy foods will benefit her from any medical complications in the future.

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Yo' momma is so fat, that- Wait. Sorry. Too far?

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A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

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What do short Mexicans do after a hot shower? Dry off with a towel like everyone else,

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2 men were friends 1 went to hell The other went to heaven

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Some potential names for Justin Beiber's next album: Headache Wailing and Screaming Eardrum Rapist Anger Half Price Indescribable Out of Print April Fools The Sounds of Hell Torture Ear Basher

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

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A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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A man walks into a bar. Of chocolate. Yummy!

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What do u do if a blonde throws a bomb at u Trigger the bomb and throw it back

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Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

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Title IX

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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