What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

Why was the boy sad? Because a freak accident killed his mum his dad his best friend and he lost both his legs and is unable to feed himself

My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

How Do You Solve A Impossible Math Question? You Dont. cause its impossible.

why did bill gates sue his banks? Because he can

A guy said a racist joke and he got beat up now he is in the hospital for what he said.

A man comes into a bar. Wait, it's a horse. A man comes into a horse.

What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

What do you call an amazing person Good

What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

Why didn't the 12-year old boy eat his birthday cake? He has diabetes and would likely die from the increased spike in insulin.

Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The Englishman ordered a lager, the Irishman ordered a Guiness, and the Scotsman ordered tap water.

What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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