Q: Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? A: Neither did she...

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Why did the gay man not walk straight? Because I took a jack hammer to his foot

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How is a woman like a condom? They are not. A woman is a human being and a condom is a man-made rubber object used as contraception in sexual intercourse

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Three people are stranded on an island. They didn't want to eat each other because they were friends. They died of starvation.

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How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

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what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pickles.

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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What did Grandma Sally give Little Timmy for Christmas? Herpes

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What Happens if a Muslim boy gives you a bomb? You give it to someone else as your playing tnt tag and the bombs a toy

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What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

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DAVID.B YOU O ES 2 BAR YA TRAMP

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What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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Why did the blonde fall down the stairs? Somebody tripped her.

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Roses are red, violets are blue No they're not, violets are violet

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There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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A prostitution ring operates out of a subway. How much does the prostitute with a foot long penis cost? About $300, for a 12 inch penis is very rare and desirable.

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pickles are green infection is yellow all the girls i know call me a good fellow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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