why wouldnt you come to the dark side? i spit in the cookies

What's a boulder's favorite type of music? Boulders don't have ears.

Why was OJ Simpson's knife covered in blood? Because he just murdered his wife.

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

SUCK MY 29 AND A HALF FOOT LONG DICK BITCH JUST KIDDING............ IT IS 69 FEET LONG GIGADY

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

Why was the priest circumcised? He had a very painful urinary tract infection

Nothing exceedingly odd happened at a bar

Why is Wednesday a bad day? Because at some point, Monday will come around again.

how do you win a game try your best

y does byonce sing to the left? because black people have no rights

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

You're Like A Book I Want To Put You Down

A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

Why did the man think inside of the box? Because he was inside of the box.

A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

A baby seal walks into a club.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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