why did the blue berry cross the road

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how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get my ball back.

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Why did Santa get stuck up a chimney? Because there was a family of possums living up there. They ripped his face off.

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A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

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a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

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What's worse than a black guy? Two black guys....and a dead white man.

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Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

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Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

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Lol, she does not think anything, she knows. Its not unfaithfulness if you ask for permission and are granted so because the trust is strong and mutual.

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What's the difference between a piano and a goldfish? One's a piano, the other is a goldfish.

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How long does it take for light to travel a light-year ? A year.

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What did the Christian say to the atheist? "Even though we don't share the same beliefs, I think it's great that we can still be good friends."

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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What do you call a cow who can't produce milk? Utter failure.

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what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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