Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

Knock Knock whos there? Semore Frickelson Semore Frickelson Who? What other Semore Frickelson do you know!? Let me in its freezing out here!

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Ebola, You're going to die.

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

What's the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? I'll eat Megan Fox before I fuck her.

Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

What do Jews and gays have in common? They both would have been killed during the Holocaust.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

Kinky = using a feather Perverted = using the whole chicken Weird = using chicken bones Downright disgusting = all of the above, plus a cat

What's the difference between dead babies and punching bag? No one makes jokes about punching bags.

I spilled spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.

What do you call two blacks on a bike? Two good friends having a good time.

Why didn't the magician pull a rabbit from a hat? Despite his choice of occupation, magic tricks are rarely appropriate in hostage situations.

why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

If gluttony is a serious sin, why are so many Christians fat? Because they have bad eating habits.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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