A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

Why did the skeleton cross the street. He didn't.

A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

Why did the black man fall down? A guy pushed him.

What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

A Women is holding a piece of paper with her rights what is she holding a grocery list

Thankgiving Jimmy: I'm thankful for my family Thomas: I'm thankful for shelter Jake: I'm thankful for running over babies

Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

A blonde walks into an electronic store...she buys an IPhone because someone stole her blackberry, her money, and everything she cares for. Nah, I'm just kiddin', she was murdered.

What did the Rabbi get for Christmas? Nothing because as you know Rabbi's are members of the Jewish community and therefore don't celebrate Christmas.

Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

What is white, sticky, and something that gay people and women love? Frosting.

What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

What do you call a fat zombie? Dead

What did the priest say to the young boy? Hi.

What's another name for asexual reproduction? Parthenogenesis.

There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

In soviet Russia...things are different

How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to jump over your car, then drive by in a truck

a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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