My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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What do you call a cat up a tree in a party hat? A cat up a tree with a party hat

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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Why didn't they let the black people play baseball? Because they're bigoted bastards.

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boys go to college to get more knowledge. Girls go to Jupiter to work in the kitchen.

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What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

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Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

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dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

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How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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How do you make a fake baby cry -Put batteries in it. How do you make a real baby cry? -Put batteries in it.

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What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops