Man 1: Did you hear that one about that girl who killed herself? Man 2: No Man 3: Yeah, neither did I

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

thumb_up thumb_down +4

My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Tony Romo

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do call a large massacre of 1000000 people? a tragedy

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do baseball and The Holocaust have in common? They're both sports, except for the The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do Jews and gays have in common? They both would have been killed during the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops