Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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DAVID.B YOU O ES 2 BAR YA TRAMP

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

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Why couldn't Jack and Jill climb the hill? Because they were bagels.

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A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

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What do Vladimir Putin and a snake have in common? A central nervous system, to name but one of the many biological similarities.

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How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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Q: Why is the sky green? A: It's not

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A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this duck and it makes me wana quack like what the f**k is THAT!

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In Soviet Russia, everything you do will have an equal and opposite effect, for the laws of physics still apply in every part of the world. No matter where you are.

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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List of people I love: Hitler Stalin Mussolini Ted Bundy Charles Manson Hannibal Lecter Vladamir Putin Satan Justin Beiber One Direction Chris Brown Chris Brown's parents Oh, and my mother. I love my mother, too.

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Wanna know a Chuck Norris fact? He is 72 years old and likely to die soon

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What do you call a Muslim on a plane? A passenger, you racist bastard.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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antonis sister is mighty fine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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