Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Its very nice.

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

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1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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A white man, a black man, and a brown man are all in an elevator. The white man laughs "this is like the start to a racist joke or something." The other two men strangle him because he is white.

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guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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Yo momma so ugly, she makes french people say "you are ugly" in whatever language they speak.

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Why does Toby suck! Because he sucks!

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Why couldn't people tell the difference between the two twins? Because they were indentical.

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Knock Knock!! . . (There is no response as nobody's home)

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What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

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What did Hellen Keller say to her baby cousin? Nothing

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Y couldn't you stop the bowling ball? Because it was going down a hill.

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The Pope, a Rabi and an Islamic religious leader go into a room and come out with what? A new understanding of each others cultures.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

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Your mum is SO fat... She died of a heart attack

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Why is Chuck Norris so frickin awesome? He just is cause he's chuck norris

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops