Your mom is so poor; she doesn't have a job.

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whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I forgot to go to the bathroom

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

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Why did the black man drop his weed Because he got shot

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

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what do you call a cross between lasagna and a human. weird

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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What's worse than finding a holocaust in your apple? A worm.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

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Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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