How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

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What does little Tommy and a tomato have in common? They are both vegetables. Oh wait, a tomato is a fruit.

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Why do the Chinese eat cats? Because it is a good source of protein that is relatively easy to obtain. Really, it's not much different than killing pigs for food.

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A blind, black guy walks into a building. Unfortunately it was a secret KKK building and they beat him, raped him and left him to die. Luckily he was found alive and transported to the hospital. To bad the hospital was bombed by Al Queda.

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Guy: Roses are red, violets are blue, you're beautiful and sexy too. Girl: Roses are red violets are blue, how many girls have you told that to? Guy:... Girl: Exactly.

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Wife: Where were you all night. Husband: Cheating on you with your sister

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i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

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How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

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Yo mama is so fat because she doesn't exercise and eats way too much calories. The reason fat people gain weight is because of low metabolism which means her body is not burning a lot of fat and instead is storing fat. A healthy life style such as playing sports, walking in a park, or eating healthy foods will benefit her from any medical complications in the future.

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What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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2 men were friends 1 went to hell The other went to heaven

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A man walks into a bar. Of chocolate. Yummy!

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is a escaped mental patient that thinks 6 betrayed him

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A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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What do short Mexicans do after a hot shower? Dry off with a towel like everyone else,

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A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

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Yo' momma is so fat, that- Wait. Sorry. Too far?

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yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

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your mama's so fat... that's it

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whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

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how do you piss off a dyslexic? give him a crossword puzzle

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he needed to go home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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