teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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Your mom is so fat she is larger then the average person.

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And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

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trump and hillary are both stranded on an island, who survives? america

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Why was Reed sad? His mother has a penis

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms or lags get for christmas? A: He dosent now he cant open them.

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24

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

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You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

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Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

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a rabbi and a priest walk into a wall

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A: knock knock B: who's there A:come in B:come in who?

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What did little Timmy do in the Library? Read

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops