You: Want to hear a joke? Person: Yeah You: Me too

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The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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What is a chicken? Because 7, 8, 9.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

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Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

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if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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What did the black guy say to the white guy running off the cliff? Watch out! You're running off a cliff!

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

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How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more likely you are to realize that beans aren't actually fruit. They're legumes.

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Q: what's white on the top and black on the bottom? A: Society

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

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What do a black man and a bench have in common? The black man can sit in the bench.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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