How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

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What is big, long, hot, and firm? An erection due to the arousal of a woman's sex appeal.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

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If your riding a jet ski and the wheels fall off Then how many pancakes does it take to Cover a dog house Purple because ice cream doesn't have Any bones

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Q. What is the best way to suicide? A. Kill yourself.

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Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Ele PHa n T

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Barney is a dinosaur We see on medication! And when we are high on drugs He's a hallucination!

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Hey did you see Helen Keller's dress? No, she's dead.

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Why did the police officer shoot the man in the wheelchair? Says the police: "He was running"

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What ticks and makes a very loud noise? the bed

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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why do asprins work? Because they're white

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

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My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I guess I make a good milkshake.

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shut up elliot

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tell ur mom i love her before i die this would have been a better ending to the tintanic

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Why couldn't Jack and Jill climb the hill? Because they were bagels.

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A woman is terminally ill in the hospital and her family is trying to decide what her last meal should be. Her older sister suggests tea and the idea is accepted enthusiastically. The other sister suggests making jasmin tea and the ill woman's son also suggests toast. The woman's husband looks down at the orange he had just peeled for his wife and looks up at the rest of them. moments later he shoots the three of them and then himself. All were found dead. http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2012/01/11/food-tiff-ends-in-deaths.html

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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Two Jews walked into a bar. Then bought it.

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A lumberjack wearing women's underwear under his clothes walks into a bar. Several Canadian Mounties stand up and surround him, compliment him on his cooking and offer to go looking for some wild flowers for his herb collection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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