What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

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What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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What does two plus two equal? 4

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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What is a chicken? Because 7, 8, 9.

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Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? K

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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Why wouldnt you want to hit a black man that is on a bike with your car? It mite be your bike

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops