If you're happy and you know it get a life

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

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Q:What do you call a sheep with no legs? A: A cloud.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Open up. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

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What's sad about four children going over a cliff in a car ? Four children just went over a cliff in a car.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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What did the black guy say to the japanese ninja with super fighting skills? Nothing, because he neck was sliced before he could.

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Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

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Man: Hey honey! you look mighty fine today! Want to go play some lax? Woman: I'd love to! Thanks babe! Man: Just kidding you are a woman.

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Boy: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're accent sure sounds like it.

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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Which ballet do pigs like best? Pigs don't understand ballet, but they probably like the ones with audience participation, as they are friendly animals and enjoy interacting with humans.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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your mom is so nasty that when she took a shower and acquired general etiquette, she became possibly more respectable

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A black guy. A Jew and a dyke died in a plane crash!:) Who was flying? ....why would you be wondering that when you should be wondering why i put a smile-face beside the details of the crash..

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What do you call a German who roasts Jews for a living? A comedian.

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What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

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Knock Knock Who's there? a tree

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Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

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Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

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What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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