You say tomayto, I say ecstasy.

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What's long hard and black A drain pipe

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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This is Mr.Bear you all are on rtc for the next week. See me in G7 NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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Roses are red, Metal is gray, Justin Beiber, is very gay

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How many Jews do you have to kill in order to make a museum? 6 Million.

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Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

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A chicken , a dog and a horse walked into a bar. There were going to the vets but were confused.

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why is it good to be a fireman? because they save lives

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Balls

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What did the resently released criminal get for his birthday? a nice sweater

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A jewish man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder, the bartender asks "where'd you get that" the man replied "at a pet shop"

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lol

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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What do the Mexican man, the Asian man and the Jewish man all have in common? "man"

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Why did the chicken cross the road It was being dragged to the other side by fox It's the way of life _._._

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? You don't, the giraffe is a savanah animals and there is no physical way for a giraffe to fit in a refridgerator.

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Q. How do you make your neighbor mad? A. Run his kids over.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the low cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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why was Ralph depressed? Because his family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn’t quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family’s murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family’s killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer’s whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers’ home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers’ body-guards, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Foghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Foghorn’s life didn’t, and wouldn’t, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him “You’re finally home Ralph, you’re finally home.”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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