#Getweird

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That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

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If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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Ask me if I'm an orange? Are you an orange? No.

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Knock knock. Who's there? AV. AV who? Asshole vison. Now that's Amusement Vision. (Remembering Amusement Vision...)

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What's more likely to happen in 2011 than the rapture? Finding my real parents.

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How did Mary fall off the swing? She got hit by a fridge.

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its all shi.ts and giggles.... ......until someone giggles and s.hits

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I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being chased by a coyote that hadn't eaten in several days.

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and about not being funny.

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Christanity One Womans Excuse of Not Having an Affair Got Totaly Out of Hand

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How do you get a Mexicans attention? By calling him by his name.

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Why is josh such a retard Because when he was born a brick fell on his head.

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How do the Chinese name their children? They decide on a name that both parents can agree upon, and they write that on the certificate of birth.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

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.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, You Have A Face That Belongs At The Zoo, Don't Worry I'll Be There With You, Not In The Cage But Laughing At You!!! :D

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What do you call a black man that nicks your car? All we can say is that he is called the Nig

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What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops