What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Pee is yellow Shit is? brown My shit is yellow WTF

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What should you do if a stranger picks you up? Politely request that he put you down.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I can't believe they been together for 16 years!! Who? Deez Nutz!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's better than winning the Special Olympics? ...Not being retarted.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did kenny the koala fall out of the tree? becuase kenny was dead. Why did kesha the koala fall out of the tree? because she was hit by kenny while he was falling.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what kind of pizzas did the twin tower executives order on 9-11? two large "planes"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station....

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LOVED AND NURTURED ME THROUGH MY CHILDHOOD YEARS? MY MOM.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two ladies are walking down a road. One says, "It's freezing out here!" and then the other woman, who is a scientist, says "No it's not freezing. The freezing point of oxygen is -365.82 degrees F. So, unless it is actually that temperature outdoors, I highly doubt that it is freezing outside."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops