A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

a guy walked into a bar, ordered a drink, sipped it slowly thinking of his waisted youth. then he finished his drink and went home to his wife of 34 years

Q:what's worse than eating outdated raviolis? A:terminal cancer.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

a mexican, a asian and a black guy are in a car whos driving? your mom

Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

I saw a shooting star. It shot me.

wat do u say to a guy with a 3.5 cm choad wats hot tater tot

What is a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then. but has a high probability of getting hit by a car and slowly dying from crushed limbs

Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

Is maynaise an instrument?

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have alzheimer's Hey I just met you Coopn8r

Man sees a hot girl. The hot girl sees him. The man asks her out on a date. After five years of dating he asks for her hand in marriage. She says "No way, I'm married you horror!!!" The man cries and moves in with his mom... Two days later he commits suicide.

Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

what is big and white? Your Mom

Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

I took a vampire out for dinner last night. I expected her to cringe when I ordered a rare steak, but we decided not to let my tastes impact on the evening, sharing wine and many stories before heading back to my apartment.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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