A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

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2 men were friends 1 went to hell The other went to heaven

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Yo' momma is so fat, that- Wait. Sorry. Too far?

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i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

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yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

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A man walks into a bar. Of chocolate. Yummy!

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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Some potential names for Justin Beiber's next album: Headache Wailing and Screaming Eardrum Rapist Anger Half Price Indescribable Out of Print April Fools The Sounds of Hell Torture Ear Basher

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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What do short Mexicans do after a hot shower? Dry off with a towel like everyone else,

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Yo mama is so fat because she doesn't exercise and eats way too much calories. The reason fat people gain weight is because of low metabolism which means her body is not burning a lot of fat and instead is storing fat. A healthy life style such as playing sports, walking in a park, or eating healthy foods will benefit her from any medical complications in the future.

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What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

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A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

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Title IX

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Why does Santa Claus drink so much hot Cocoa? Because Mrs. Claus got tired of his constant drunkenness and won't allow beer in the house in the house anymore.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

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How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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BIG MAC'S

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A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

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Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

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What do u do if a blonde throws a bomb at u Trigger the bomb and throw it back

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Why is the mexican navy so bad? They have insufficient funds to give to their military as they are a 2nd world country.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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