what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if he tore his ACL last week trying out for wood chucking nationals? A: Woodchucks don't possess the ability to chuck wood, nor do they have ACLs.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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How do you make a blonde fall off of a cliff? You push her off of the cliff.

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Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

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What is life? Paul.

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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What's the difference between a ferrari and pile of dead babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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What's blue and smells like sky? Sky

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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Q: What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white? A: Alive

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Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

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whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? thier skin tone.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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