Why didn't Megan do her homework? Although Megan was an intelligent girl who had always done well academically, she remained unconvinced that anything taught in school held practical or philosophical importance.

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How do you give a cold sore to catnip? Because he needed lemon juice

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What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Hi. He said it in sign language.

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree, because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree, becuase it was dead. why did the third monkey fall out of the tree, because he thought it was a game!

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why did Sarah fall of the swing... she had no arms Knock Knock.... Whos there .... Not Sarah

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Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

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A penis walks into a bar..

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Kids, your mother and I thought we should tell you this now... You know our dog sparky? Well he... was actually Osama bin Laden and is now dead!

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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What do you get if you cross a human and a cow? Arrested.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. Come out with your hands up!

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what is the coolest thing in the world? hashtag swagbag yolo

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Why couldn't Jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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Can anyone Lenin money?

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what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

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Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

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Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

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Whats the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Wow Nero, you never explained the process, its like I am at the ocean again, but dont lie, you still fear showers... Sorry its just not you when you lie to me, I know I should be more concerned about you, ill bring those old stuff, im tired, sleepy, I suppose thats your work huh Nero? Thanks, call it as a brother or what you want, but I really love you and wont ever stop doing so. Goodnight Nerochan, promise me you will take care of yourself, we all got a long life ahead of us, and I want to spend more time with you, if its fine for you and your wife.

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What's faster than a black man running with a VCR? His son with the receipt of purchase as they realize VCR's are clearly outdated and must be returned right away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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