Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock, knock. Whose there? Me. Leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happens to the blond when she reaches the top of the stairs She falls down them

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You know what they say about a man with big feet! They say it's indicative of the size of his penis, although there's no scientific evidence backing this up.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the little boy commit suicide? Because his dad molested him.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the blind man say to his teacher? Nothing, blind people can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do kids take their lunch in to school. that depends if they buy lunch at school... otherwise they bring it in a lunchbox...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops