why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

Whats a movie? A moving picture.

What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

what happened when Bob told a joke? Joe laughed.

What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

Charlie Sheen

knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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