roses are red violets are blue cookie monster is gonna eat you big bird is yellow you look mellow dont forget elmo to

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What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

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Whats the similarity between a bike and a black person? They are both stolen

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Why don't birds cry when they get hurt, lose a loved one, or watch opera? How the f*** should I know.

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he got hit by a car. Follow forever.art7 on Insta.

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A moose walks into a grocery store. He goes over to a cashier and says, "On what aisle are the potates?" The cashier replies, "Aisle 4." The moose went to aisle 4 AND THERE WERE NO POTATOES!

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- have you heard about the guy who got the left side off the body cut off? - no. - He died

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

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A jewish boy walks past a quarter on the ground..

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What did the man say when an pterodactyl flew into the kitchen while he was having breakfast? Huh, that's strange.

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What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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What is purple, stupid, gay, and tells shitty jokes? I don't know. You think of something.

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

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Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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Kindness is what makes the world go round..... and chocolate.

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what is the difference between jelly and jam? jelly is smoother where jam has chunks of fruit in it...... and i cant jelly my penis down your throat

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A man and a women are having sex. He farted so she left before he came.

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My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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