What's the cure of cancer? Death.

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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Tony Romo

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What do u call a cripple Biv

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"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

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Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

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what do call a large massacre of 1000000 people? a tragedy

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

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What do you call a horny horse? A unicorn.

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Knock Knock whos there? Semore Frickelson Semore Frickelson Who? What other Semore Frickelson do you know!? Let me in its freezing out here!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Ebola, You're going to die.

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Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

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Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

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What do Jews and gays have in common? They both would have been killed during the Holocaust.

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The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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