Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

Why did Ant Man die? He was shot by a gangster, duh.

What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

A dancer walks into a barre

What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

I don't get it

A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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