roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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Why did the black man buy fried chicken? Because it wasn't free.

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Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

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what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

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How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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Why are people so quiet at golf game? Because its such a boring sport.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

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Where would canada be without nature? still here

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops