How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

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How do you make a fake baby cry -Put batteries in it. How do you make a real baby cry? -Put batteries in it.

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how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

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You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

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Why didn't they let the black people play baseball? Because they're bigoted bastards.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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how do you burn a lot of calories? set a fat kid on fire

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Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

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dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

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Mila Kunis is fugly. Said no one ever.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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What did the little asian boy get for his birthday? To work for minimun wage making high quality shoes for greedy white people in North America who dont care about anybody but themselves.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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boys go to college to get more knowledge. Girls go to Jupiter to work in the kitchen.

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Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

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my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops