What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

What did the penguin say to the peacock? Die, you homosexual!

What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

What's worse than finding a baby in a dumpster? Being late on your taxes

why was the witch in the broom factory? she was recently employed there and is loving her job maing brooms

what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

We're sorry, but something went wrong. We've been notified about this issue and we'll take a look at it shortly.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

What's the difference between 2 pieces of meat? Nothing

Your father must be an alien because he's driving a UFO

The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where did my tractor go.

roses are red violets are black,why is your chest as flat as your back :O

why was the boy crying over his dog, his cat, and his bird? Cuz i raped them Wat about his pet hamster? I threw it at a wall

What starts with F and ends with UCK? FUCK

Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

Why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted ti get to to other side. why did the medic cross the road? beacause there was a seriously injured chiken on the side of the road, it had been hit by a fat man on a jog

Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

Q: What's long, hard, and full of sea men? A: A submarine.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

Q: What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...