Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses walk into a bar and sit down at a table. They glare at each other for a moment before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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#Last Christmas I gave you my heart #And as far as I know #The transplant was a complete sucess #And you have recovered from your operation #And are now well again #This year to save me from tears #I'll donate my kidneys

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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what do the parents of a starved family do? kill their kids chop them up into little pieces and eat them.

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

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What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

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Holocost jokes arent even that funny, Anne Frank-ly they annoy me.

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No antijoke here.

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

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Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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