I saw 2 jews talking. I threw in a penny and watched them fight to the death. I did the same with 2 catholic preasts exept I threw in a baby boy

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

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whats brown and has a head? A: my penis

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

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Q: why did the black man kill the white man? A: he was clinically depressed, mentally unstable, and had a grudge against the white man that had nothing to do with his race.

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What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

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Gay rights.

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

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How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

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There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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