How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know; I was too busy masturbating.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

Why did the little girl drop her ball? Because she was done playing with it.

Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

What's the difference between a melon? One of its halves are both the same.

an atheist and a christian meet in a bar they chat about football, order some pints, and have a really good night.

who is gay wit mon james cornish

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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