why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

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why did the boy get hit by a bus because he dropped his ice cream

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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What do you call a rich black person? A: Oprah

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How do you get a baby to start crying? Drop a brick on it. How do you get it to stop crying? Drop two bricks on it.

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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A elephant drowns when it was swimming, why did this happen? Who cares its already dead!

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what did pedobear say to the 60 year old man nothing he was too busy molesting the girl across the street

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

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Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas. A new vest and a puppy because his father got a promotion and a much higher pay raise.

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What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs at noon, and 3 legs in the afternoon? A dog that got its hind legs chopped off, and then only got 1 prosthetic one.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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Why don't Vikings read the New York Times? Because they all died centuries ago. And none of them live in New York.

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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