why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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what do call a large massacre of 1000000 people? a tragedy

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What do u call a cripple Biv

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

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What's the cure of cancer? Death.

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

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"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

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What do baseball and The Holocaust have in common? They're both sports, except for the The Holocaust.

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Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops